


shine a light

by houndpine



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:47:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22423567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/houndpine/pseuds/houndpine
Summary: Oliver just wants to have a nice dinner with his boyfriend and his family. Joe isn't having it.
Relationships: Barry Allen/Oliver Queen
Comments: 2
Kudos: 183





	shine a light

"This is delicious," Oliver says genuinely, directing the comment towards Joe, who's sitting at the head of the table. Joe gives him some sort of disbelieving stare, snorts, mutters something, and continues eating. 

Oliver smiles tightly and slaps his hands against his thighs, wondering how soon he can make a strategic exit without it being too conspicuous. Barry places a hand on his knee and pats it reassuringly but a little more firmly than is strictly necessary in a silent warning to behave himself, knowing full well what Oliver is planning. Oliver gives him a hurt look and Barry simply responds with a skeptically raised eyebrow before turning back to the table. 

Iris and Wally are sitting across from Barry and Oliver respectively, with Oliver and Wally closest to Joe. Oliver's not sure why no one thought to put a buffer seat between him and Joe's barely disguised hostility. Or maybe they tried, but Joe shot it down. 

"So, Wally, how are your engineering classes going?" Oliver asks. Wally grins, setting down his cutlery, and begins to speak, but Joe interrupts. 

"Don't bother. He doesn't care. He just wants to make a good impression." 

Oliver turns slowly to Joe and fixes a blatantly fake smile on his face. "I'm sorry, Mr. West, did you want to add something to our conversation?" 

Barry groans and slumps in his chair, hands over his eyes. Wally sighs and sits back as well, confusion in his eyes. Unlike the rest of the table, he has no idea that Oliver is, in fact, the Green Arrow- a fact that makes up the bulk of Joe's hearty disapproval of his relationship with Barry. 

There's a tense silence as Oliver smiles benignly at Joe, who gives him a dead-eyed stare.

"Can I talk to you for a minute, Mr. Queen? Outside? In private?" 

"Of course," Oliver replies, standing up and pushing his chair in neatly. He gives Barry a reassuring shoulder squeeze as he makes his way around the table to follow Joe out into the hallway, which does nothing to alleviate the resignation and distress on the younger man's face. 

Iris gives Barry a sympathetic smile while Wally shrugs and begins eating again, observing Barry closely out of the corner of his eye. 

In the hall, Oliver puts his back to the wall and folds his arms, tension making his shoulders hunch and his muscles wind tight. He feels a twinge of familiar, instinctual fear when Joe steps closer to him than is necessary, cornering him against the wall, his eyes cold. 

"I only allowed you to come here for Barry's sake, but now I'm realizing even that was a mistake," Joe spat. "You're a criminal and a murderer, and I shouldn't let you anywhere near my family." 

Oliver flinched despite himself, at the cruel words as well as the way Joe stepped even closer, his posture aggressive. 

"I've done things I'm not proud of, I can admit that," Oliver began, and Joe snorted. 

"Well, that's one way to put it," the man said sardonically. Oliver elected to ignore this comment and keep going. 

"And I've realized that stopping people by killing them, even if they're bad people, isn't the right thing to do. I don't do that anymore, and I don't plan to again." He forced himself to meet Joe's gaze steadily, trying not to betray the anxiety and now the simmering guilt he was feeling. "Barry's part of the reason why I'm trying to be a better man," he added, his pulse slowing slightly at the thought of the younger man and his steady, warm presence. 

But it seemed as though bringing up his adopted son was the wrong move because Joe's eyes flashed angrily and he brought up a hand to poke a stiff finger into Oliver's chest. 

Oliver, however, was anxious and cornered and when he saw the blur of movement his instincts took over. Before he could think about it, he'd blocked Joe's hand with a forearm and his other hand shot out, hitting Joe in the gut and knocking him backward. As soon as the perceived threat was neutralized, Oliver suddenly came back to his senses and realized what he'd done. 

He instantly dropped to his knees to check on the wheezing Joe, but the older man knocked his hands away with an angry growl and Oliver backed away quickly. 

As Joe started to get to his feet, face dark with fury, Oliver began to realize that he'd shown Joe that he was exactly the kind of violent madman he thought Oliver was. He'd never allow him to continue dating Barry. He might even press charges for assault-- or worse, he might expose Oliver as the vigilante of Starling City. 

Joe, recovered from the blow, took a threatening step towards Oliver, his eyes cold. 

Oliver, panicking and unable to act on his instincts to defend himself against an aggressor, stepped backward from Joe rapidly. He barely registered when he hit the hallway wall, back and head slamming into the surface because Joe was still walking towards him. 

The thump of his body backing against the wall must have finally alerted Barry, Wally, and Iris to the fact that something was wrong because suddenly the trio was in the hallway too. Their faces were alarmed and the sight of Barry's anxious expression made Oliver realize he may have lost Barry by hitting his father. 

Oliver, suddenly unable to breathe through the anxiety closing like an iron band around his lungs, dropped down to crouch on the floor, his arms wrapping around his head defensively. His breathing was ragged and shallow, coming far too fast for him to get a good inhale of oxygen. 

Instead of looking at the faces he was sure were horrified at what he'd done-- because he could hear Joe yelling now, about how he'd attacked him for no reason-- Oliver watched the feet of the other four people in the hallway. Joe was pacing angrily, every loud thump of his feet on the floor making Oliver flinch slightly. Wally was standing back from the entire drama, his nervous shifting of his weight betraying his discomfort and confusion. Iris and Barry were standing close together-- sending another shock of uncertainty through his system-- but as he watched, they edged sideways until they were standing between Oliver and Joe, both trying to calm their father down as well. And then Barry turned and stepped forward cautiously until he dropped down to his knees in front of Oliver, who still stubbornly refused to look him in the face. 

"Ollie?" 

His voice was soft and gentle, but there was a note of uncertainty that made Oliver curl up more tightly, his fingernails digging into his head in an attempt to ground himself with the sensation. 

Oliver heard Barry sigh quietly and then watched his feet as he settled down to sit on the floor a few feet in front of Oliver, giving him space but also conveying the firm impression that he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. And then Barry simply... waited. 

After a few minutes-- had it even been that long?-- Oliver became aware that the hallway had gone quiet, except for the sound of his ragged breathing. He chanced a quick glance up away from the floor and saw that no one had left the hallway, but Joe, Iris, and Wally were standing back now, Joe finally quiet and an odd expression on his face as he stared at Oliver. Oliver's stomach twisted and he turned his face away from all of the people looking at him. The pounding of his heart in his ears resolved itself into a persistent chant- /monster, monster, monster, monster/--

"Ollie," Barry said again, and Oliver was so startled by the sudden noise that his breathing hitched, allowing him to break the rhythm of panicked, short gasps and shakily drag in a long inhale of air. 

"Ollie, it's okay. You're okay. We're all okay," Barry said calmly, his voice even and sure. 

"I'm-- I'm sorry," Oliver gasped, still avoiding looking at Barry's face. 

"It's okay, Ollie. I'm not angry at you, I swear. Why don't you tell me what happened?"

"I'll tell you what happened!" Joe's voice, his anger returning, lashed through the hallway. "He attacked me!" 

Oliver flinched and curled more tightly into himself, still unable to look at Barry.

"I-- I didn't mean to," he managed to say. "I thought-- thought he was attacking me, and I just-- reacted. I'm sorry-- I'm sorry-- Barry, please--"

"Hey, it's ok," Barry said softly, smiling at Oliver. "I'm not mad at you. I know you didn't mean it." 

Oliver finally met Barry's gaze, the younger man's eyes filled with warmth and concern instead of the disgust and condemnation that Oliver was expecting. He searched Barry's face for any hint that he was as angry with Oliver as he had every right to be, but he found nothing. 

Without realizing, Oliver's breathing and heart had calmed. He managed to crack a weak smile. 

"Sorry for ruining dinner," he said, and Barry snorted a soft laugh. 

"It wasn't exactly going great before this." 

Oliver's smile was a little more genuine now. "You're too good for me," he said softly. "Too good to me." 

Barry shook his head. "You're a good man, Oliver," he insisted.

No matter how many times he said it, Oliver knew it wasn't true. But he also knew that Barry would say it as many times as it took for Oliver to start believing him, just a little bit. 

"Alright, you two," Iris's voice came, suddenly reminding Oliver that he and Barry weren't alone in the hallway. "We get it, you're adorable. How about we move this back to the dinner table? I'm starving." She flashed a quick, bright smile at everyone. Oliver felt another brief pang-- this was the girl that Barry had been in love with for most of his life, and he could see why-- but then Barry slipped his hand into Oliver's and gave him a small, encouraging smile along with a gentle squeeze of his hand. 

They trooped back into the dining room. Joe's face held an odd mixture of anger, confusion, and something approaching regret, while Iris and Wally simply looked relieved to be back to a semblance of normality and civility. They resumed their seats, Oliver studiously avoiding Joe's searching gaze. Barry gave their interlinked hands one last encouraging squeeze before dropping his and turning to Joe. His eyes had that familiar stubborn glint that meant he was about to launch into a lecture on something he was passionate about. Oliver loved it.

"Joe, I know you don't like Oliver," Barry began. "But I brought him here to have family dinner together, not for you to yell at him. He's a good man--" and here he gave Joe a fierce glare before he could say anything in argument-- "And I love him. And that's not changing, so I suggest that you start changing your opinion of him." 

There was a brief silence around the table. Joe looked like he wasn't quite sure what to make of Barry's speech, while Iris's eyes lit up and Wally simply seemed vaguely uncomfortable. Oliver, for his part, was silent too, staring at Barry and feeling love and gratitude swell in his heart. He didn't know what he'd done to deserve Barry believing in him-- loving him, but he knew that he'd try his damndest to live up to it. 

Oliver laid his hand on top of Barry's and took a deep, calming breath before meeting Joe's eyes steadily. 

"I'd like to apologize for what happened in the hallway. After those five years... sometimes my instincts are not my friend and I'll perceive a threat where there is none. I truly didn't intend to hurt you and I hope you can forgive me." 

Barry gave Oliver a grateful, proud look. His small, warm smile made Oliver forget the brief, bitter sting of shame that always came when he had to apologize to someone. 

Joe was silent for a long moment, some inner battle warring over his face as he studied Oliver and Barry. Finally, he sighed and spoke. 

"I know I've been hard on you. Barry's my son and I only want the best for him. This may take a little bit to wrap my head around but..." and here he turned his gaze to Barry. "I'll try to be more open-minded in the future. I just want you to be happy, Bear." 

Barry grinned, like the sun breaking through clouds. 

"I am."


End file.
